I KNOW that you are a

GOOD MAN.

 

I know you give a sh*t about women. 

I know you want her to be happy. 

I HOPE *you* know that by fortifying your close relationships, 

You will have less drama, more connected sex, be healthier, and die happier. 

But you might not know how to do that.

 

Don't you dare say around me: 

“Where are all the good men?!”

You are RIGHT HERE!!

 

I KNOW that you are a good man.

 

I know you give a sh*t about women. 

I know you want her to be happy. 

I HOPE *you* know that by fortifying your close relationships, 

You will have less drama, more connected sex, be healthier, and die happier. 

But you might not know how to do that.

And So Maybe You Have Tried, But You Struggled. 

And you haven’t found a solution that consistently works, 

but *I see* that you keep trying. 

And I want you to get points for that.

I know that you fight battles every day 

to fulfill your obligations even though they might not inspire you, 

to provide a better life for the people you’ve chosen to be responsible for, 

and then come home and work to meet the emotional needs that you possibly haven’t been well trained to meet, 

sometimes without your home being that warm, welcoming port in the storm…

I feel you.

I SEE that you are committed to making a difference in the world, in your family, and for the women you care about. 

And you won’t stop until you do. 

Because I Know That You Are a Good Man,

Who won’t stop protecting and providing for the people in your skillful care,  

It breaks my heart to see you being unappreciated or under-appreciated by the women in your life.

I cannot tolerate hearing women disrespect men in public, casually, “humorously.”

Or seeing that our culture (commercials, sitcoms, other women, etc.) not only allows that but thinks it's funny! 

Rest assured, that will NEVER happen in my presence.

A friend of mine refers to me as the worlds' fiercest champion and advocate for men… and masculinity itself.

I Didn't Always Use to Be Such a Fierce Champion. I Didn't Feel Like I Had Much to Appreciate About Men.

I grew up in the Bronx and I was directly taught “You never know who your next attacker will be.”

And, “by definition,” that would be a man. 

So I would put on my armor, thinking that I was walking out into a world full of attackers. 

When I learned that a testosterone-based being's primary instinct (when they are psychologically healthy) is to PROTECT…

It changed my life. 

I Now Eagerly Walk Out My Door, Feeling Like I'm Walking to the Arms of Protectors. 

I relax. I smile. I glow. 

Like I’m walking outside on a warm, sunny spring day. 

I also know that if I were ever not protected, that it would be an expression of an individually wounded man, not “men” as a whole. 

My perception of safety in the world 

(provided by men just BEING men, not DOING anything) 

fills up my tanks. 

Changes my entire way of being in the world. 

Warms me. Softens me. 

Fills me with appreciation.

 

And makes me want to give back to men.

I Now Eagerly Walk Out My Door, Feeling Like I'm Walking to the Arms of Protectors. 

I relax. I smile. I glow. 

Like I’m walking outside on a warm, sunny spring day. 

I also know that if I were ever not protected, that it would be an expression of an individually wounded man, not “men” as a whole. 

My perception of safety in the world 

(provided by men just BEING men, not DOING anything) 

fills up my tanks. 

Changes my entire way of being in the world. 

Warms me. Softens me. 

Fills me with appreciation.

 

And makes me want to give back to men.

For your First Relationship Tool from me

Buy Here

I KNOW How Much Responsibility You Take in Your Life

for your partner’s and your family’s safety, health, and happiness 

(past, present, and future)...

Even more so than your own.

I see that under stress you can isolate yourself and buckle down to work harder than ever.

And I know that even though you experience being: 

  • misunderstood 
  • unappreciated 
  • dishonored 
  • the only one working,  

you will still meet your obligations to provide for the people you love.

Because your word means that much to you. 

I honor who you are. 

I value your masculinity SO MUCH not only in my world, but in THE world. 

 

I see the contribution you make to the world, just by BEING a man.

Therefore, I Want to Offer You the Best of Me...

my communication skills, 

my appreciation,

and my fierce care!

For example, when I hear men saying things (to women) that the women misunderstand, 

I wince, 

Knowing that there’s NO way you could have known how women may interpret what you say…

Unless you are taught specifically how estrogen-based beings react, hear and prioritize. 

I know you don't want to cause her any pain.

And I know that you want to be her rock, 

But how can you be there for her when the frequency or intensity of her emotions can be more than you were ever trained to handle? 

And your reactions might range from overwhelm to freeze to judgment to rage to numbing yourself for protection...

 

You just need better tools to help you navigate her emotions...

Therefore, I Want to Offer You the Best of Me...

my communication skills, 

my appreciation,

and my fierce care!

For example, when I hear men saying things (to women) that the women misunderstand, 

I wince, 

Knowing that there’s NO way you could have known how women may interpret what you say…

Unless you are taught specifically how estrogen-based beings react, hear and prioritize. 

Ultimately, I Want to Help Teach You

Specific, Practical Skills  

Briefly, let’s imagine that we are all computers. We all connect to the internet, send email, and are able to print. But let’s say that testosterone-based beings are Windows, and estrogen-based beings are Macs. 

If we try to communicate with and get a Mac to do the same thing as a PC, we are NOT going to get the results we want, and it would be silly to expect that we could. 

This works both ways! Mac users “shouldn’t” try to get PCs to act like Macs. 

However, NONE of us could possibly have known this (HUGE) bit of wisdom, because we were given each other’s operating manual in f-ing Tagalog 😉

… or, you know, not at all. 

So I teach men how to use the right system so that she can hear your language.

'Insert joke here' about how I rarely read the instructions either, but that I would have LOOOVED having THESE particular instructions that I will offer you! They DEFINITELY would have saved me (and my partners) a LOT of heartache through the years.

I Am So Committed to Supporting Men...

I get massive satisfaction from helping men how to understand a woman's behavior, [our deepest need above all others, and our one deepest desire] hyperlink to $20 pocket product. 

I guide men in how to:

  • track when women talk
  • stay grounded and loving, and
  • self-regulate and calibrate what you're focused on

through the intensity and frequency of our estrogen-fueled ever-changing emotions. 

(I know those can be hard to go through!)

I also let men know the [most powerful gift] hyperlink to $20 pocket product you can possibly give to women.

I Am So Committed to Supporting Men...

I get massive satisfaction from helping men how to understand a woman's behavior, [our deepest need above all others, and our one deepest desire] hyperlink to $20 pocket product. 

I guide men in how to:

  • track when women talk
  • stay grounded and loving, and
  • self-regulate and calibrate what you're focused on

through the intensity and frequency of our estrogen-fueled ever-changing emotions. 

(I know those can be hard to go through!)

I also let men know the [most powerful gift] hyperlink to $20 pocket product you can possibly give to women.

Help Me Champion You. 

I long for fight for the world to see the #HealthyMasculinity that is ALREADY all around us. 

When You Learn Some ACTUALLY Simple Techniques That Work with Women, Women Will Experience You as a

Jedi.

A woman’s strength is often in her verbal and emotional skills. (Which is probably not the skills you were taught from a young age.) 

What would it be like to learn some straightforward, effective tools (from a very direct and loving woman, who is actually on your team) that give you skills to succeed in her verbal and emotional world? 

… allowing her to feel deeply satisfied from the easy Jedi-level attention you provide?

I really get that you want her to be safe, satisfied, and happy.

I’d like to help you become that Jedi more easily.

All of the training in my life has prepared me for this job.

 

Don’t Buy Here if you don’t want to 😉

When You Learn Some ACTUALLY Simple Techniques That Work with Women, Women Will Experience You as a

Jedi.

A woman’s strength is often in her verbal and emotional skills. (Which is probably not what you were taught from a young age.) 

What would it be like to learn some straightforward, effective tools (from a very direct and loving woman, who is actually on your team) that give you skills to succeed in her verbal and emotional world? 

… allowing her to feel deeply satisfied from the easy Jedi-level attention you provide?

I really get that you want her to be safe, satisfied, and happy.

I’d like to help you become that Jedi more easily.

All of the training in my life has prepared me for this job.

 

Don’t Buy Here if you don’t want to 😉

Some of My Qualifications:

  • A lesson from being a massage therapist for 22 years: People's bodies know how to heal through letting go when they are held and challenged with enough support. 
  • A lesson from teaching couples' dancing for 29 years: Leaders can provide enough safety for followers to fully express themselves, and followers can trust enough that their leaders can take risks on their behalf, WHEN their physical and emotional attention on one another is caring and connected.
  • Full list of qualifications is at the bottom of page.

One of the Biggest Turning Points in My Life was Learning that While Men and Women are Equal, We are Also Different. 

And how this might actually be a good thing… 

I took a year-long course about men. Twice. 

Then got trained as a female coach in the Authentic Man Program. 

Six of my male colleagues told me that I “should work with men.” When I asked why, one said, “Because you love men, and you’re really direct. And men need directness, when it’s coming from a place of love.”

And what I consistently began to hear from men was that they felt safe with me. 

They felt like they could be themselves with me. They felt free. 

Completely unsolicited feedback. 

It happened with every man I spent more than 20 minutes with. 

We were both surprised when they often said “I haven’t told that to anyone else before.”

One of the Biggest Turning Points in My Life was Learning that While Men and Women are Equal, We are Also Different. 

And how this might actually be a good thing… 

I took a year-long course about men. Twice. 

Got trained as a female coach in the Authentic Man Program. 

Six of my male colleagues told me that I “should work with men.” When I asked why, one said, “Because you love men, and you’re really direct. And men need directness, when it’s coming from a place of love.”

And what I consistently began to hear from men was that they felt safe with me. 

They felt like they could be themselves with me. They felt free. 

Completely unsolicited feedback. 

It happened with every man I spent more than 20 minutes with. 

We were both surprised when they often said “I haven’t told that to anyone else before.”

Then, in 2013, I Taught a Class Called “Challenge to Men”

Which challenged men to raise their integrity around sex… by teaching each man how to invite his partner to raise her integrity around sex. 

The response was astounding. The room was overflowing with 100 men… we had to turn men away at the door for lack of space. More than half the men stayed after the class to ask me to teach in their countries. 

And that’s how I started traveling full time for 6 years, teaching classes for men and relationship classes for couples. 

However, when the couples’ techniques I was teaching with a partner stopped working for us, I knew I needed to look deeper.

We stopped teaching and began doing our own attachment work. 

We needed to use the right tool for the job. 

For your First Relationship Tool from me

Buy Here

I Understood How Attachment Was the Deepest, Most Effective Therapy We Could Possibly Do

So after I completed my therapy, I started training to teach Attachment Exercises.

Because I could design my traveling to any location, I was able to condense 9 years of attachment training with 7 different teachers into a 3 year period. 

I then began integrating attachment work into the work I was doing with Men’s Groups. 

 

THIS was the "right tool for the job" that I had been looking for.

 

... So that I could provide a container for men in groups to challenge me, as I stood in for the women in their lives, either now or in their pasts…

So men could have an experience of a woman, both able and actually eager to hold their pain and their triumph,

their bitterness and their tenderness,

their resentment and their need (yes, need),

their anger, their sadness, their joy,

and their fears,

with compassion. 

 

And welcome all of them.

“I’ve started, led and trained others to lead men’s groups for 20 years. Men’s lives were saved, others created relationships they never thought possible, and there are the men who went on to create life-changing organizations. Once we had a strong group, I pushed the men to occasionally bring in a female facilitator. Over the last two years, Erin Brandt visited our network of groups, bringing her deep love and respect for men. The men’s initial resistance quickly thawed once they experienced a woman being real with them. They opened up to experiencing Erin’s unique gifts. 

One powerful process she did with each man was to sit in to represent any woman in their life. We had men who in the past did deep work, going to places I never saw them go. Not any woman could not only hold the space for a man in that way—but with her presence invite a man to go deeper than he ever had.”

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Owen Marcus

Co-Founder of MELD.Community &

EVRYMAN Network of Men's Groups 

Now, I Teach Men (and Couples) How Healthy Masculinity is an Expression of Secure Attachment. 

With love and directness. 

So, here’s my loving and direct question to you, if you have a partner. (Don’t worry, if you don’t have a partner, I have a question for you, too, in just a moment…) 

“Are you happy with the results of your relationship?” 

If you are, that’s FANTASTIC. 

I’m here for you when the natural speed bumps in a relationship arrive. 

If you aren’t happy with your results, no worries. 

It only takes one person to change the entire dynamic. A partner can’t react the same way they do now if, tomorrow, you start saying different things to them. 

And if you don’t have a partner now, my question is simply:

Are you happy with the results of your past relationships?

Are there places you used to get stuck that still haunt you, that you still think about? 

Men, regardless of your relationship status, 

Bring those examples, memories, situational questions.

I’m here to offer practical, tangible tools.

Let’s problem-solve together now, so you can be even more effective within all your relationships, you can help your current or future partner be happier, and you can live healthier and die happier. 

For your First Relationship Tool from me

Buy Here

Now, I Teach Men (and Couples) How Healthy Masculinity is an Expression of Secure Attachment. 

With love and directness. 

So, here’s my loving and direct question to you, if you have a partner. (Don’t worry, if you don’t have a partner, I have a question for you, too, in just a moment…) 

“Are you happy with the results of your relationship?” 

If you are, that’s FANTASTIC. 

I’m here for you when the natural speed bumps in a relationship arrive. 

If you aren’t happy with your results, no worries. 

It only takes one person to change the entire dynamic. A partner can’t react the same way they do now if, tomorrow, you start saying different things to them. 

And if you don’t have a partner now, my question is simply:

Are you happy with the results of your past relationships?

Are there places you used to get stuck that still haunt you, that you still think about? 

Men, regardless of your relationship status, 

Bring those examples, memories, situational questions.

I’m here to offer practical, tangible tools.

Let’s problem-solve together now, so you can be even more effective within all your relationships, you can help your current or future partner be happier, and you can live healthier and die happier. 

For your First Relationship Tool from me

Buy Here

My Commitment to You: 

I spent 20+ worthwhile years in therapy learning from the experience with my dad  

… through all the steps of healing: 

  • from empowerment 
  • through accountability 
  • to compassion and then, beyond healing to 
  • to championing.

This is the ferocity of care that I dedicate to my own work. 

 

And now I’m on your team. 

You’ve got me. 

I’m on your side. 

I've got your back. 

My healing has created deep wells of energy to complete the natural cycle of appreciation in me…

From being wounded by a man 

(to understand how his parents wounded him)

… to Appreciating Men… full time.

And… 

 

Don't believe me. Don't trust me. 

Instead... read my sh*t. Here are the videos & PDF. (pocket product hyperlink) 

See if they make sense to you. 

If they help you trust me.

And if they are actually valuable to you. 

I trust your gut to know what’s right for YOU, NOW.

  • This PDF is exactly how to handle it when she wants you to “Just listen!” even though you can see the solution. 
  • These videos are about her deepest need, her deepest desire, and the most powerful gift you can offer her. (pocket product hyperlink) 

BOTH the PDF and the videos offer action steps that you can practice with women in your life right now. 

Try it. Test it. 

Then decide if what I’m saying works for you.

If it actually makes your life better. 

And if you’d like to work with me further, I’m here for you.

I’m open.

For your First Relationship Tool from me

Buy Here

“Within 30 minutes, I felt a new sense of purpose in my life. The work only got deeper from there.” 

Roger

What I like is that you offer deep targeted insight directly. It’s the depth of your insight that I enjoy most. I get great value from you, life-changing moments.

Darryl

I can’t tell you how refreshing and on point your Challenge for Men was. Your compassion for us men was moving, I thank you in the name of all the guys there. It felt amazing to be acknowledged and understood as men and what we go through. This is so, so very rare.

Alfredo

Erin has an embracing, welcoming, no-nonsense openness that feels very powerful to me. I see her as an insisting presence that challenges me sweetly and courageously to be the best man I can possibly be. 

Jazz Musician, Norway

WOW! What an incredible fucking gift Erin Brandt is.

It felt edgy to bring a woman into our group as a facilitator. Our circle embraces edgy. And what would we really be risking if we had her join us?

The moment she stepped into our circle of men I could feel the energy she brought, both grounding and magical. It quickly became apparent that Erin has a deep appreciation for the healthy masculine from a feminine perspective.  Combine that with her highly tuned facilitation skills and it made for an impactful evening.

I sit with a group of powerful men and Erin was able to create and facilitate an evening where men worked in ways that would not otherwise have been accessible to them.

Our group is already planning another evening with Erin when she comes back to Denver in July. If you get the chance to work with this incredible woman, take it. 

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Jim Norland

MKP Denver, CO 

It was immensely powerful to have a woman like Erin acknowledge the frustrations and deep challenges we face as men to connect sexually with women. She understood it on a deep emotional level.

It is a constant personal challenge being faced with so much sexuality and not being able to do a whole lot about it. Like it is so close yet so out of your reach.

The meditation we did imagining having a woman’s “penetrable opening” was very illuminating towards the vulnerability of women having this organ which can be the source of great pleasure but yet incredible hurt. Hence the need to feel comfortable, connected and secure with a partner.

Erin, your role playing scenarios of how to frame the communication with women is also quite powerful. The idea of allowing ourselves to have desires but not “dumping it” on the other person was quite valuable as well.

Anonymous

I have never seen someone teach like Erin that was so attuned to each person in the room. It was beautiful to feel her passion for her subject and her deep empathy for the frustration that men experience in the bedroom. I was blown away with Erin’s passion for the plight of both men and women and her insightful solutions to resolving the impasse that stops them from having and enjoying sex. She helped open a door for me in dealing with my wife that allows me to respect my desires and my wife’s desires at the same time.

I believe that a lot of men and women are frustrated around sex and I am thrilled that finally, someone has the courage to stand up and say that what is happening sucks and has come up with solutions that work.

Anonymous

Erin’s Education

  • Assisted in Diane Poole Heller’s DARE trainings, 2018-19
  • Diane Poole Heller’s DARE Trainings, Level 1-4 (twice each), 2016-17
  • Stan Tatkin’s PACT Level I & Level II Trainings (twice each), 2016-17
  • Transformational Coaching & Leadership Training, 2008
  • Female Coach at Authentic Man Program, 2008-present
  • PAX Programs, (twice each program) 2007-present
  • MS, Exercise Science and Health Promotion: Injury Prevention and Performance Enhancement, California University of Pennsylvania, 2004
  • Corrective Exercise Specialist, Performance Enhancement Specialist, Certified Personal Trainer, NASM (National Academy of Sports Medicine), 2006
  • 1900 hours training in Massage Therapy; Nationally & CA Certified; NYS Licensed, 1996
  • BA, Psychology, University of Binghamton, 1996

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